My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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