I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
