Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
