is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
