Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
