Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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