Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
