She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
