He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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