I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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