it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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