It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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