How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
