i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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