All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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