He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
