Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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