don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
