I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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