She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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