So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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