i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
