Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
