I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm too high and old for this...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
