is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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