He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
