lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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