Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
