She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
