We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
