hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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