if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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