Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
