i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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