My balls are so social today.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
