I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize