I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
