Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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