Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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