i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
