we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
