Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
