He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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