Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
