I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
