im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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