You really coming over, don't trick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
