Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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