i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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