I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
