So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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