Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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