somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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