Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
