I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
