worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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