I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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