5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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