I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we're so committed to being not committed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
