Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
