Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
